#*it hurts itself in the confusion!* <- me rn

[professional-little-lark]

Hahahahaha I just remembered the deal oscurucho wanted to strike with Quackity, hahahahahahahaha what's the chances that he'll take it now that Pepito is on the line?

[itsmistyeyedbi]

And the kiss! (in addition to this)

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I'm not tagging this because the tags are just me rambling about my thoughts on what a says here. I guess it could be t/w/c critical? But barely I think lol.

[moss-in-hiding]

OKAY SO I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE

I’m gonna make my first zosan contribution angst- im sorry. CONSIDER THOUGH, Noah Kahan’s Dial Drunk- could totally be zosan angst

in theory: This could be pre or established, but Zoro and Sanji get into a fight, like a BIG one. maybe Sanji is trying to ignore his feelings, maybe this is after thriller bark or Whole Cake, either way

“I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown

In the name of someone I no longer know

For the shame of being young, drunk, and alone

Traffic lights and a transmitter radio

I don't like that when they threw me in the car

I gave your name as my emergency phone call

Honey, it rang and rang, even the cops thought you were wrong for hangin' up

I dial drunk, I'll die a drunk, I'll die for you”

Especially the last part it screams zoro to me

like he gets drunk and lost at a bar and usually sanji would get him but not this time

[pomefioredove]

i crave angst and hurt/comfort/fluff maybe something like that with vil? maybe reader gets hurt pretty badly or something and vil gets upset?? hehe angsty scenarios>>

on my hands and knees rn... vil... save me vil...

summary: anger is an ugly emotion type of post: fic characters: vil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, angsty..... mentions of bullying/abuse etc?? very open ended you can interpret that how you please, GOD this is indulgent

Anger is an ugly emotion.

So much is true even for Vil Schoenheit. If you asked him, there is nothing more undignified than losing your composure in front of others, especially those under your care.

No, Vil keeps such emotions to himself. If he feels the need to get a point across, or to settle a conflict, he will do so with grace and dignity. He won't even break a nail.

This is different.

This is seeing you turn away from him with tears in your eyes, and feeling as if the very world itself is crashing down around him.

He cannot stand it.

He cannot stand seeing you like this.

It shakes him to his very core. You've had bad days, evenings where you come crawling into Pomefiore looking as if the world had chewed you up and spit you back out at his feet, and he's tended to it.

He's combed your hair, cleaned the dirt out from under you nails, bandaged your paper cuts with a sort of gentleness he doesn't even reserve for himself, made you look new and whole again.

Vil can't help with this.

It drives him mad. It makes him feel like he's stuck inside his own ribcage with nothing but the sound of his beating heart, trapped in a flurry of confusion and anxiety.

He wishes you would just talk about it. It would make everything so much easier if you would let him help.

But he won't pressure you. He couldn't bring himself to. And, quite frankly, if he knew even the slightest detail about whomever had been making you feel this way, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to stop himself from finding them and mincing them to shreds.

As they deserved.

But Vil is not one to rush into anything. He is patient, cordial, taking his sweet time to understand a problem from all angles before enacting a solution.

And so, he doesn't ask.

He holds your chin between his delicate fingers and dabs at the corners of your eyes, hoping to brush away your misery along with your tears.

You sniffle. It's not a pretty sight- you're certainly no graceful crier.

He couldn't care less.

The only thing that Vil can think of now is how only one measly person could be your undoing.

After everything you've been through without even breaking a sweat, all it took were a few too-familiar words to melt you into a pool of bad memories and misery at his feet.

Sevens help whichever poor fool had done this to you.

"Now, now. That's alright," he coos, wiping your cheeks just as a new barrage of tears runs down them. "Don't worry about a thing."

You just barely manage to choke out a response. "I'm sorry, this is- this is embarrassing,"

"Nonsense. You have nothing to feel bad for. I promise I won't utter a word of this to the others,"

He cups your face in his palms, giving you a moment to compose yourself.

"Deep breaths," he instructs. "Seven seconds in, hold it, for just a moment, and then seven seconds out. There. Excellent job."

It's quiet. The sound of sobs and his own heart pounding seem to fade into quiet breaths shared between the both of you.

"Good," he strokes your cheeks with his thumbs. A repetitive, soothing motion. "How do you feel?"

"Guilty," you say. "I didn't mean to ruin your evening."

"You've ruined nothing. You're very important to me, you know. I would never want you to think I'm too busy for you," he offers a smile. "Now, how do you feel?"

You're quiet for a moment, likely mulling over his words. Your voice is softer when you reply. "Tired,"

"Oh... you poor thing. I can't have you dead on your feet tomorrow, now, can I?"

You shake your head.

He stands, pulling you up with him. "Come along, then. Let's get you to bed. I'll help,"

He begins guiding you away from the couch you'd spent the better half of the evening sobbing on. You respond in a quiet voice.

"Vil?"

"Mm? Yes?"

"You promise you won't say anything about this to the others?"

A look of utter softness crosses his face at your request, and he smiles again. "My lips are sealed,"

[crystalandbow]

APHRODITE MESSAGES 💌

Hi!

Let's dive into your messages from Aphrodite

Intuitively pick a pile 👇🏻 and check the corresponding message to it! & I hope you enjoy the reading

FREE TAROT

PILE 1

1212, " I am sexy, I am divine", "affirm"

Y'all are fucking kings and queens and princesses. Just shut up, y'all pretty (inside out) asf.

PRIORITISE YOURSELF AND YOUR NEEDS.

Y'all be settling for bread crumbs and shit but stop! Like self worth where?

Stop hurting yourself for petty things/people and start to enjoy life. Celebrate yourself.

You could have a talent for natural healing powers so make use of it. The upright Queen of Pentacles can also signify someone involved in a nature religion such as a white witch. It can be an indication that you may have an interest in or a natural talent for Earth magic such as creating potions using herbs.

Connect with Aphrodite if you want to add more peace and calmness into your life. You might also have some (green flag) suitors that want to make you theirs.

" Confident " for some it is asking you to be more confident while for some it shows that you are confident in yourself & your abilities

Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!

PILE 2

"pours out their heart to us"

A change is coming your way.

What change you may ask,

You are now on the verge of releasing all that has been holding you back, you are now realising the value of something (your own worth, value of a person, time, effort, anything) and this is going to bring in a new flow of motion.

New love, new feelings or new passion could be anything but it's good!

You might be going through some tough times but you are very brave and standing high. And this new thing is your reward for trusting the universe. Keep slaying and working hard💪🏻

Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!

PILE 3

Y'all could be feeling tired, disturbed, pissed at everything (or something specific) we actually have very similar cards to pile two.

you have a new opportunity being presented to you rn / soon. this opportunity is brought to you by the divine itself. GRAB IT BITCH! this thing is important for you, it has a potential to grow and get big/ successful. depending on what the thing is it will show you its benefits/pros. it will likely bring you in contact with the right people/ your soulmates/ soul family.

how will you recognize it though? one sign could be your desire for wanting to go for it, you could be naturally talented too.

another message could be that you need to give out to people, help people, be a provider. this could be you providing guidance to people or money or hope/motivation, basically anything.

for some who have been thinking about sharing content online, this is your sign to do it! (and tag me/jkkkk)

Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!

PILE 4

Y'all seem confused and stuck? Like everything "looks" alright but doesn't intuitively feel right. You are unsure if it's you whose the problem or the other thing, something around those lines, yk?

not here to scare you but yall better be careful. Your intuition is on spot especially with that one thing/person.

If something/someone is giving you weird vibes and you can't figure out why then it's the universe trying to speak to you through your intuition. your intuition needs to be addressed, try to dig in deeper with "why" you've been feeling so.

Just be a Lil cautious, that's it ig.

Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!

[kerryweaverlesbian]

A friend of mine asked for advice on writing a poem so, I figured I'd share it more widely. This is how I personally tend to go through the process (although sometimes poems just come in a stream of consciousness and I'm like damn where'd you come from???)

This gets long so, under the cut

To me, a poem is circling around an idea through building a structure, so:

1. Figure out a key idea that connects two things together("smoke is a metaphor for hidden places" + "Mary Supernatural's relationship to motherhood" = "Mary Supernatural's hidden feelings about motherhood explored through the metaphor of a house fire")

OR a scene where something very sensory is happening ("eating a live octopus", "running on a cold day")

2. Write a short paragraph of whatever comes into my head as I think about that. Connections to other works, random lines, images, concepts. The ideas can be cliché and shit and not be used in the final piece!!

I'll do one rn for the octopus concept:

"What could the octopus be a metaphor for? Struggling to create a piece of work? Like how I rotate pieces of media around in my head for a while sometimes without getting a clear thought on them, as I am with Mouthwashing right now. The struggling kick of life. A life without hands, only senses. A constant reaching forever. Maybe a squid would be better, it releases cloudy ink...? But it's not as big as an octopus. Poem speaker confused between squid and octopus. The sensation of being strangled from the inside by the octopus tentacles. Fighting against yourself and your own instincts to give up. Tears forming as ideas form. Salt and copper. The tongue is kind of like a tentacle in itself. 'I swallow it, until it becomes mine'."

^ this helps solidify the ideas of the poem without having to battle through 3 or 4 drafts while looking at a blank page willing ideas to come out. Sometimes I just do that part in my head but it can be helpful to refer back.

What I love about poetry is that you can just skip to the exciting bit! You don't need a bunch of characters or scene descriptions or dialogue. It can all be the bit that makes you go hell yeah cool cool cool!! (<- guy who finds literary analysis cool)

3. Whichever of those ideas speak to you, use some to write a first stanza. The rhythm can be whatever sounds good in your head:

"I'm eating an octopus

(Live)

With gusto,

It's fighting me back but I bite."

So now we have an established rhythm! For this one it's

7 syllables [no comma]

(a short aside)

3 syllables,

8 syllables.

Now for the rest of the poem I can use that same rhythm, which keeps me focused. If you don't want to come up with your own rhythm, there's plenty of established poetry rhythms and rhyme schemes, if you google "types of poem" they will appear as if by magic. And of course you don't have to use a pattern at all. Again, this is just what I do.

To be clear, I don't tend to literally count out the syllables, you can feel what the rhythm is by saying the poem out loud (which you should do FREQUENTLY as you write to make sure the emPHAsis doesn't go ON the WRONG word). There's poetry terms for emphasis but I don't know them because I only did up to AS level poetry 😉

If you ever find the rhythm isn't working, change it. It's your poem. Do whatever you want. Changing the rhythm can also be used to show "this is a change/escalation in idea". It's a song with a bridge.

4. Keep talking about different parts of the metaphor in that structure:

"The tentacles writhing

(I chew, I chew)

A battle,

A hunt for the truth.

The hinge of my jaw

(It hurts, it hurts)

Unkindly,

I stick in my tooth."

^ I often slip into rhyming, this also helps not get stuck thinking of literally any word from the english language that could be used. As Monica from FRIENDS says, "rules help control the fun!"

"The [something] of muscle,

(My tongue? Its leg?)

My burden,

My begging for proof."

^ my close personal friend square brakets when I can't think of a description this instant! Wooo!

"[Some sort of 5th stanza that has an end rhyme for proof, maybe with the "salt and copper" concept?]

I'm eating an octopus

(Live)

But I'm winning

It's hard, but it's worth it, the fight."

^As you can see I added an extra syllable for the second to last line, you gotta just listen to your heart sometimes. When ending things I like to harken back to the beginning! It can be a little cheesey sometimes but that's okay, poems are allowed to be cheesey!

That's my general approach. Something that really, really helps with writing poetry is also... reading poetry. You get to experience a lot of rhythms and rhyme schemes and ways of talking about ideas and how different poets use the foundation of a poem to express their meanings. Reading this poem back, I was writing spontaneously but I can very clearly see influences of A A Milne (my mum's favourite poet!), The Jellyfish by Marianne Moore and my dear friend @lesbianjoannaharvelle 's poem I wish I could draw for the theme of wrestling with creativity. Our works are in conversation! Isn't that cool!!

Anyway. Kiss kiss.

[212-apricity]

mastermind, part eleven

we’re so back,

last gcse on friday AND bridgerton AND euros???😟😟 getting spoiled stoppp😍😍

goodness gracious im so sick and tired of this exam rubbish gosh i cant wait to be done😫😫,

anyways if you’re reading this rn im eternally grateful to you bc the way i wouldve left if i was you…

no but seriously i love you guys so so much😕😕, this is a very short one (apologies) bc its the first time ive written since like last year (we’re ignoring that) and i really hope you enjoy the scraps ive put together while on no sleep for the past 72 hours. as a result (look at me using exam terminology in my day to day life😋) there may be some typos or like whole sections that arent meant to be there so very sorry for that, i think it should be fine though

anyways have a great day/night, pls pls pls lmk what you think of it and PLEASE send me requests for absolutely anything🙏🙏🙏

warnings: none i think!!

masterlist

theodore nott masterlist

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“Here,” Theo hands me a sandwich he had managed to make with the little supplies we had left, “You need to eat something.”

I absent-mindedly take the plate from him and take a bite as he sits besides me on the tattered sofa and grabs the radio on the table, fiddling around with it.

“They’ll be okay darling,” he reassures for the millionth time, switching between stations, “I promise.”

I look to him with glassy eyes and lean my head on his shoulder as he kisses the top of my head.

He finally finds the right channel and holds my hand as I continue to eat the sandwich. We listen out for any news of our families or Harry, Ron and Hermione.

Theo and I had been moving around, camping here and there for a few months now. Lord knows where the other three had gotten to. Looking for them would be foolish and most likely unfruitful under these circumstances. Theo had been comforting me and making sure I sustained myself this whole time, I don’t really know what I’d’ve done without him.

“Theo, can I ask you something out of the blue?” I asked him as he lifted a cup of tea to his lips, raising his eyebrows and humming, “Do you still love me?” I questioned in a way that wasn’t accusatory, but rather of wonder.

His eyes glassed over slightly as he put his cup away and looked to me with a confused- almost offended expression. “Why would you ask that?”

“I don’t know we just haven’t been this close and alone since.. The Yule Ball and I wasn’t sure where we stood.” I shrugged, trying to read his thoughts.

“Tesoro,” he started “I look for you in every crowd, I search for your eyes in the nature around me. I savour and stretch any moment we have together. I endlessly shame myself for leaving you  that day, but it was a necessary evil. I couldn’t let you get hurt. Not even a little bit. I lett you patch me up after fights even when I don’t like people helping me. I talk to you about my mother and father and I take delight in all your accomplishments. I love the way you talk to me, I love the way you are and I am eternally grateful that you’ve forgiven me somehow.”

I look at him with teary eyes and big smile on my face as he recisprocates and grabs my face in his warm hands smiling at me, “Doubt whether stars are fire; or the sun moves across the sky; or truth itself be a liar; but never doubt whether I love you.”

I kiss him softly.

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“Hey I wanted to ask you,” I began as the smooth chatter of the radio fades into the background and he looks at me with his blue eyes, “Do you think we should go back to Grimmauld place? I mean it’d be a lot safer than us being in the middle of fucking nowhere, we’d be able to see everyone else and we’re running out of supplies anyways.”

Just as Theo opened his mouth to respond, a letter flew into the tent in front of us as Theo and I instinctively grabbed our wands before seeing the parchment.

Theo gives me a confused look as I say, “Who’d know we were here?” and grabs the envelope.

He opens it cautiously as I keep my wand pointed at it, just in case, and starts to read the contents aloud.

“Dearest Y/n, it pains me to have to invite you to this bloodbath or anywhere near it but I am doing so with The Order’s direct command. We are all either stationed or arriving to Hogwarts for the upcoming battle, you and Theodore should get here as soon as possible, and please darling at least for my sake, try and keep out of danger. I cannot say much at this point but you must get here quickly. Come to your common room and when you arrive, I’ll be there. Yours, Sirius.”

Theo and I stand in silence for a few minutes, rereading the letter again and again until Theo backs away and starts preparing a bag big enough for one. I break out of my gaze and collect some of my things I need to bring and pass them to Theo to put in the bag but all he does is give me a look of confusion.

“What’s this for?”

“My things?”

Something crosses Theo’s face before he hides it with a blank look, he returns to his packing and clears his throat before saying, “No, you need to stay here.”

“What?” I say, astounded at his words, “What do you mean stay here?! I’m coming with you, Sirius told both of us to come.”

He abruptly stopped packing and sighed, giving me a look of desperation and exhaustion. “Listen to me,” he begged, stepping closer and taking my hands in his slightly shaky ones, “You need to stay here. You’ve already been though too much and if Bellatrix sees you I have no idea what she’ll do but I will not risk your safety. Not ever. So please darling, please listen to me for once and stay here.”

“Theo that’s so unreasonable, what if I’m in-”

“If you are in danger,” he breaks me off “Go to Grimmauld Place and send me a patronus immediately. If you come to Hogwarts with me, I’d be worrying about you the entire time anyways, and you’d be targeted along with Harry.”

“What if you get hurt?” I ask, shoving my thoughts aside for a moment, lowering my voice at the thought.

He pauses, staring at my eyes, his swimming in hesitancy, “Darling I’d rather it be me than you.”

“Theo-” he kisses me suddenly before I can protest, he runs his hands though my hair and the other on the small of my back. He kisses me for the first time, and he kisses me as though its our last. 

He breaks away and looks at me with teary eyes,

“Sei il mio cuore, la mia vita, il mio unico e solo pensiero.”

You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.

He looks lovingly into my eyes as though trying to memorise every detail about me before rolling is eyes, sighing and blinking tears away as he smiles and looks to the ceiling before bringing me to his chest and saying, “I know you.”

I look up at him with confusion as he holds me in his arms, his hands on either side of my waist as he looks down at me, “I know you, and I know that you’re going to come to Hogwarts anyway. No matter what I say.”

He smiles at me sadly as I snicker in his chest amongst tears, “But I swear if you hurt yourself,” he warns, resting his chin on the top of my head.

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LOLL that was so shit im so sorry...

anyways im so happy i FINALLY got this out like omggg it had been a MINUTE...

pls lmk what you thought and pls send me requests on what else to do‼️‼️‼️

[penofpenguin]

Here's a kinda dark and confusing request:

How would Adeuce, Leona, and Jamil react to their fem s/o revealing that she was an orphan who was used as a test subject for experiments before escaping to become an undercover assassin?

Absolutely!! I didn't know if you wanted Adeuce together or not so I wrote them separately. You can read it as a throuple tho, just seperated by banners :)

Content Warnings: Themes of death, Mentions of human testing, Ace being inconsiderate at first.

Their s/o is an orphan who was used as a test subject, then escaped to become an undercover assassin.

Ace x F!Reader, Deuce x F!Reader, Leona x F!Reader, Jamil x F! Reader

"Ok...so Ace...I need to tell you something."

"Huh?"

And so, you told him your crippling dark past. HE'D. ASK. SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.

"Wait wait...how did you end up in the lab?"

"What chemicals did they put in you?"

"Is this why you're so crazy in love with me?"

"How did you escape again. No, you know what, start again I lost track."

He really doesn't mean to hurt you but Ace is inconsiderate and can't read the mood.

But in the end, he'd actually understand it all. He may be a bit scared that you were an assassin but you are his s/o, and he still loves you.

Once you're done, he holds your hand and just looks away. Like hell he'll completely show you his soft side.

"You sure went through alot. Come here and maybe you'll feel better," (its his way of asking for a hug)

Once you hug him...trust me you'll feel so much better. He gives you a comforting hug and simply coddles you in his arms, letting you know you're safe.

Will he show you his almost teary and sad face in front of you? No. He won't let go of you until his tears are gone and you're feeling better.

Ace isn't the best at comfort, but he'll do his best. He'll buy you something from the canteen or do something else to make you a bit more happier.

But if it isn't comfort that you were looking for, and just wanted to let him know since you trust him enough, he'll let go of you in an instant and ask you if you're for real rn.

Here comes a bunch of butterfly kisses because he's genuinely happy you trusted him enough. (also because he thinks you're so cool) :)

he may still be a tad bit intimidated by the fact that you killed people but it's nothing compared to floyd am i right

"Hey...you're ok right? Is something on your mind?"

Blue egg boy should be focusing on his homework but he couldn't help but look at you in worry. YOU'RE HIS S/O.

So you tell him. Good decision! He listens carefully and is actually sympathetic at sight, unlike Ace.

During the test subject part, he starts crying. HE STARTS CRYING. ITS NOT EVEN HIS PAST.

But seeing his beloved s/o go through that much hurt him. He cries. YOU need to comfort him, not the opposite way 😭

But once you tell him you're an assassin, he freezes.

More than Ace, Deuce is more intimidated. He needs to let it sink in. Ofc he doesn't hate you, but he's genuinely scared. Those lovely hands helping him with homework killed people???

However, after putting himself in your shoes, he finally continues feeling deeply sorry for you. You had to survive and it's not your fault.

He kisses you and tells you he loves you no matter what. Holds you close to let you know you're protected and nobody could ever hurt you like that.......his magic history homework on the table....forgotten

Deuce starts growing this huge rage for those people who used you as a test subject. He draws them (based off of your description) with a crayon on a piece of paper and rips it apart.

until somebody comes into that room and is confused asf.

"Leona...I think I should tell you this."

snore

Oh you thought he'd be listening? Shake him and tell him it's serious. It works 👍

"You're lucky you're my queen."

We all know Leona respects women. He's listening.

Once you tell him everything, Leona just quietly nods throughout your tragic backstory. However, his tail does loosely wrap itself around you, as a sign of comfort.

Leona's mature unlike the previous two walnuts. He knows it's hard for you to tell him this. It would be hard for anyone.

He doesn't bat an eye, all the way until you're done.

Once you do finish, he pulls you into his embrace and you two lay down on the matress you were sitting on.

"I'm here. I won't let anybody harm you."

Leona is surprisingly not bad at comfort. He's one to rather give advice, but what advice can he give here apart from telling you to move on and look towards the future? (with him *wink wink*)

Leona's very intrigued by the fact that you're an undercover assassin. He sees you as a confident girlboss and he really likes that. In fact, it may as well made him like you even more.

Additionally, he actually predicted a tragic backstory, simply by your actions. It's a very 'Leona' thing to do, considering the fact that he's observant.

He reassures you multiple times that you're safer and you're in better hands now (literally).

Leona may not understand your pain, but he's very willing to help you get over it, even if he may not express it.

"Are you alright?"

Another very observant man. He noticed your expression as soon as he entered the room and it worried him.

When it comes to you, Jamil cares alot. So, once you told him to take a seat and that you trust him enough to say this, he makes sure to put every distraction away.

If Kalim getting in the middle is a concern, don't worry, he already locked Kalim in Kalim's room with a bunch of food and music.

While you're undergoing the process of telling him everything, he holds you tightly, holding you tighter at any major critical points of your past.

He listens carefully and clearly. No he doesn't care that people died because of you. You didn't choose this and you had no choice.

Once you're done, he asks you if you want to eat anything or if there's anything he can do to calm you down and cool your thoughts.

He's good at comfort, since he's done it for Kalim.

Cooks something for you, even if you insist on not troubling him. The arab urge to make sure your loved ones are fed properly 😭

Man praises you on how brave you were to deal with all that.

Jamil may seem very calm on the outside, but on the inside, he's mixed with emotions. Sadness on how you were treated, and anger in those scientists who used you as a lab rat.

Once you're out of sight, he stabs a random vegetable or the chopping board in anger.

To lighten the mood, he jokes around lightly, saying that Kalim would cry and yell "jamilll" in your situation.

Don't be so mean to Kalim, Jamil >:(

Jamil would notice some changes in your behavior towards him, seeing you two are more closer perhaps. It genuinely makes him happy that you don't see him as a shadow to Kalim.

He's glad that you told him, 1. you're his s/o and 2. he's considered more special than kalim since he knows a trusted secret kalim doesn't.

I hope this was ok!! I'm brushing up on my writing skills since it's been a while so sorry if this is weird :')

Hope you enjoyed!! Have a nice day 💖

- Madeline 🐧

[bee-named-alex]

So episode 6 of IWTV s2. My thoughts? Many. Enjoy them, I'll try to make it as coherent as possible in my current state. Spoilers and my mental breakdown below the cut

Fuck this. I cannot wait for a week after this episode, how am I supposed to be normal after this???

So I guess I'll start from the start? The tension is in every word and I get why Daniel's getting afraid for his life, I mean I am afraid for his life rn and he's not even real.

The Dubai scenes, they contrast really well with the first couple episodes of this season. The cracks in Loumand relationship are very apparent now, they can't even decide on what painting to have in their house. And I read a post that was like "season 1 was music, season 2 is art" and it's so true and this means like their relationship is empty i guess or something. Maybe just that it's falling apart.

And the way they began this season holding hands and sitting so close, acting like everything was perfect, ready to fight Daniel and now they sit as far away as possible, fight like all the time about everything and Louis and Daniel (and even Rashid I think) keep on further unionizing against Armand... I think that's just great.

And Armand knowing that they know and from the start trying to spin it. I'm not sure how the sentence "Why do you ask, love?" from Louis is like the coldest thing ever but it just is.

I'll talk more about Dubai later.

But now to Paris. Claudia's diary "Fuck these vampires" - girl's so right (in both meanings of that word btw). Claudia was never really my fave, but out of everyone I feel like she deserves a happy ending the most (not counting daniel here) and fuck, she's not getting it. i know but it still hurts like hell.

Her and Madeleine's relationship is great. Inbetween all the plotting and manipulation and murder this feels like one of the only peaceful things. In the scene where Claudia reveals herself I though that she's like Madeleine's guardian angel. But also an angel of death. But Madeleine doesn't mind and I think that's very important, that she doesn't really see Claudia as a monster - or maybe she does, but it doesn't change what she feels (after all, she thinks that she's a monster)

Then the turning. First Louis trying to convince Armand and him not obeying- as Daniel says "maitre only when it's hot or convinient" (it was hot in the art room btw and it's so not fair that we didn't get to see at least a little more i mean that whole scene was inexplicably so hot and i need moreeee).

But it also reminded me of another post, the "Armand is a willingly leashed tiger" because like yeah, Louis has the power up until the point when Armand no longer wants him to have it. (also Louis persuasion being "imagine me without the burden of her" sucks, like sorry but this hurts, even if you didn't mean it and yes it matters if you meant it. But his later method - aka kiss to shut him the hell up - seems much better.)

Then I got a little pissed or perhaps confused at his "Are you asking or making me?" because we know that Louis can't actually make Armand do anything, not when he is 100 % sure he doesnt want to. Because if he could, Armand would've turned Madeleine. (speaking of, Armand not having turned anyone is pretty interesting, but i guess that that's how it was in the books and it was important so sure why not)

Also Louis' "It's ok, it's ok" here reminded me of "Of course, of course!" and also "It's fine, he's fine, we're fine" and it's just so funny how they all think that if they say things over and over again they'll convince themselves that they're true.

The turning itself was beautiful, as Louis said it would be. Like it wasn't violent, there wasn't fear, no tears. Just love and devotion and I'm so sad that Claudia's and Madeleine's beautiful dream didn't last longer.

Louis not caring afterwards is just another exampke of his dissociative state and I worry about his mental well-being. (All of their mental and physical well-beings tbh)

In Dubai again, Armand finally talking about the erased memories and how they both hate on him for it and they're right. Like what do you mean Daniel doesn't have the right to be angry, of course he does. It's fun to see Daniel delighted about fighting Armand.

But also... Louis asked him to get rid of those momeries (if he believe him. And I, in this episode more than ever and despite my better knowledge, do believe Armand. Maybe it's just because of Assad's phenomenal acting but I believe his words and I believe his tears. Which actually makes this all worse btw.) and that makes the whole situation suddenly much more complicated.

Other Paris plot - Santiago (fuck Santiago) and his coup -, yeah that kept me on my toes for the entire episode. Like Armand says that he was in love and Louis says that he got lazy but I just think he must've been blind to not see it.

I feel like Dubai kinda reflects this (Louis and Daniel unionizing as we've said and so it's like Armand losing his power over his people again) but also. Paris and it's aftermath was the biggest crisis of their relationship, must've been (followed by San Francisco and Daniel I'm sure). But now as the recount it they are also reliving it and are also in a full-blown crisis and i hope this one doesn't end in a fire.

And the ending of it all. Fuck. I was near tears watching it.

The double-date in the cafe felt like a dream, they even said in the episode insider that they wanted it to feel surreal or something like that, like a romantic comedy. And for a few minutes it does. They let you believe that they could be happy. You know they won't, you know that shit's about to go down and everything will end in ruin but this single scene makes you beg, no please, no don't fuck it up, just stay happy, like this, it can be good. And despite knowing what's coming, you stick your claws into this idea of happiness like a lifeline.

And then it hurts that much more when this perfect bubble pops.

I admire all the actors because idk what Armand was feeling the moment he stepped outside but through Assad's acting I felt it too. And as Louis looks around, seeing the world stop, here I know exactly what he must've felt- the realization hits, the betrayl and then the immense worry for Claudia and Jacob portrays it so beautifully.

"He chose." This breaks my heart. Because what did he choose exactly, or better yet, what did he choose over? I mean this is terrible, the trial, but what was his other choice? He calls himself a coward so maybe it was Louis and Claudia and Madeleine or him that the coven would go after. But maybe this was actually the better choice idk.

But like you see the regret in Armand's face in Paris but especially in Dubai and I trust him. I believe him that he regrets it, I believe him the tears and as I've said that just makes it so much worse. Because he chose this and now they suffer for it and he suffers for it too and blames himself (rightfully so), but it still hurts.

And then Lestat. Fuck. I knew this was gonna come (I just couldn't help myself and because of my recklessness saw a spoiler, that he's gonna be there) but that in no way did that knowledge diminish what I felt when I saw him. Because, hell, idk I'm just so excited to finally have him back because I love him but also I hate him and am so scared as to what he's gonna do. He's gonna testify against Louis and Claudia sure but what if he won't? Does he want to kill or fuck Louis? Will his and Armand's past play part in this or is that a box to remain unopened until later?

"You cannot script a hurricane" they said and so this means Lestat will go off script. But to what extent? At least to which it results in burning the theatre down.

The preview didn't help my state, quite the contrary actually. Louis in Paris is scared that Lestat's gonna come. Santiago's laughing. What does Armand feel? Who knows not me, I'm just scared. And excited. I feel like I won't fall asleep for two days after this but it's fine. I'm fine, everything's fine.

[an-obsessed-cactus]

I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

[callmearcturus]

Stumbles in covered in dust to pass you a note that says "Arc please your analysis of the strange priesthood (your words)/odd mysticism (mine) of the IMF in Dead Reckoning, I need it urgently"

(It is such an integral part of the movie and its just one hell of a lore drop and I also have Thoughts about it and how it makes So much sense for Ethan's MILF era but you first you first)

bless you and all your endeavours

SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE FRANCHISE

I want to talk about the evolution of the IMF. Because one of the things that always kind of confused me about it was what it actually was. Is it another three-letter agency or is it a task force inside the CIA or... is it something else entirely?

IMO the answer changes over the course of the movies. In MI1, there is a concrete institution, the mainframe for the IMF is inside Langley, thus it seems to be part of the CIA. And it's kind of the villain of the movie honestly; the IMF mole hunt gets Ethan's team killed and almost gets him killed because he can't turn to the very agency/group/force that he's supposed to be working for to get assistance.

This idea of a group that is very rigid is continued/heightened in MI2 and MI3. The IMF misleads and lies to Ethan. They are still be bad guys. In MI2, Swanbeck uses Ethan to manipulate Nyah without cluing him in and is upset that Ethan didn't bring back the deadly super-virus for them to have. In MI3, the entire IMF just feels like the FBI in structure, all the visual signifiers casting it as a discount FBI. And that's echoed in the way the IMF handles its agents, the rigidity of the structure, the oversight, the centrality of the headquarters-- it all points to the IMF being a weird 9 to 5 govt job until someone goes on a mission.

There is a hierarchy, there is a director and assistant director and mission handler and tech team and all this shit, right.

Then we reach the McQuarrie Trilogy-cum-Quadrilogy, and things begin to change.

In Ghost Protocol, there is a feeling that the agency (if that's what the IMF even is) is more... amorphous. It's made clear there are safehouses and caches just shoved in various corners of the world. There are mentions of a headquarters (specifically, that it doesn't exist anymore) but when its time to get a new mission, Ethan hands them out from fuckign Seattle, and then walks off into the smoke to his next one. After Benji and Carter have their disastrous mission that sets off the plot, they don't circle up at HQ in the same way that happens in MI3, they are just directed to go grab Ethan, and clearly they find a place to grab some gear beforehand. The IMF is decentralized.

Then oh fucking boy, Rogue Nation. The CIA absorbs the IMF's assets and all we see is the CIA's HQ, not any central location of the IMF itself. Even in the intro when Brandt is monitoring the team going after the package on the plane, he's clearly in some shipping containers-turned-monitoring office. And Ethan going rogue survives by picking over the abandoned remnants of older safehouses.

Another interesting pivot happens in RN. Ethan is explicitly the functional leader of the IMF by example. There is no new secretary to give orders and hasn't been for years, there is no director, the closest thing we get to a hierarchy is Brandt who could allegedly "authorize" things but the agents just.... dodge him by not looping him in.

The idea of a structured organization is fully jettisoned in favor of the modern IMF, which mostly seems to be a lot of people under the radar working together to share information and execute missions.

Emotionally, Ethan is the leader of this new type of IMF, and we are in the movie that truly sets off on the idea that Ethan's ethos is that... he can't handle casualties. It's the blunt object used to hurt him, the way Lane murders the IMF plant in front of him, and his expression of haunted shock is vivid and clear.

All the way back in MI1, Ethan stopped Krieger from killing a bystander, telling him they didn't leave a body count. And by RN, that's become the bedrock of the IMF, the idea that the lives of the many are never more important than the few, and the IMF agents will destroy themselves in the name of getting everyone out alive. There are no acceptable losses.

This is bad, frankly. It is a very bad weakness for a super secret spy to have. But it is TEXTUALLY the entire point of Fallout, that Ethan can't let Luther die. In RN, he couldn't let Benji die. He couldn't let that random French cop die. Over and over, Ethan is given a choice between "save a ton of people" and "save one person" and keeps picking both, and it hurts him every time. It is unreasonable and demands so much from him.

And I have been wondering what that was building to, and Dead Reckoning lays it out.

The IMF as a formal institution doesn't exist anymore. There is no director, there's no hierarchy. What we see of a possible HQ is not the IMF, its everyone else in the intelligence community. As Kittridge explains, the IMF is a mail drop where they "leave word" and hope someone inside the group gets it and takes care of it. There is no oversight because each agent is basically a self-contained satellite.

AKA the way Ethan has found he works best. For every. single. fucking. movie. the IMF has been a hindrance at best and The Bad Guy at worst.

When we meet Ethan in Dead Reckoning, he is a man standing in an old building with sturdy walls and high ceilings. He initiates a new member and tells them they made the right Choice. It is the reassurance of an elder member to a novice.

Because I think... Ethan has essentially guided the IMF to this. How the fuck does anyone survive when there is no hierarchy, there is this creed of Save Everyone Yes Everyone, how do they do that?

Well. Everyone in the IMF lives by simple rules. Any IMF agent looks to another and says "your life will always mean more to me than my own." And the details don't matter. There is no exception to this.

The reason Ethan is alive is because his life means that much to his team, and their lives mean that much to him, so they survive by prioritizing each other in a way that borders on irrational.

This is where I think we get into the weird priesthood/odd mysticism of the IMF. They are a self-selecting group of people fanatically devoted to the preservation of everyone, and are skilled enough to back it up. There is a level of altruistic devotion there that's absent from the other agencies. Hell, Kittridge is back and when we catch up with him, he's fucking trying to buy the key to the fuckign Entity! Once again the CIA is evil, shock of shocks.

In a franchise where the CIA is always evil and the IMF As An Organization isn't better, the only moral choice seems to be to opt-into caring radically about everyone. It's the only counterpoint possible.

I think its significant that in Dead Reckoning, with this new evolution of the IMF, we only see Ethan and the team in old buildings. They are fading remnants. They can't pass on the responsibility to family, so they keep watch for others who have what it takes. They are a small, dwindling group, and they are the only people that can destroy the Entity.

Punct and I have talked about how Ethan defeated the Syndicate by infecting them with humanity basically; through Ethan's influence, Lane becomes vicious and petty in a way he'd like to deny, but he is motivated by his connection to Ethan more than his ideals. Similarly, I think Ethan and his ilk have infected the IMF with this strange solemn duty, and act as guiding stewards. It's an ideal that will die, but until it does, they will keep saving everyone they can, because no one else will.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi! I saw you’ve read Anne Rice’s IWAV books, and I have some questions from the show that I think someone who’s read the books is more qualified to answer. Slight spoilers for s2 below, if you haven’t seen it!

My main question is about Lestat and his ability to die by fire. I’ve only seen the show, so I’m a little confused about the part where Louie + Armand go to Magnus’ Lair to kill Lestat. Louie and Armand light their hands on fire, and Lestat says, “I have the blood of Akasha in me,” and alludes that he can’t burn to death bc of whoever Akasha is. So Lestat basically says he can’t he killed by fire unless he actually wants to be killed. (Magnus burned, but Lestat can’t burn unless he’s willing bc of Akasha?) So, does that mean the same thing applies to Louie, who has Lestat’s blood? And why can Louie + Armand light their own hands on fire and not die?

Thank you! Have a great rest of your day!

Yes, I've read them :) (and I've seen the seasons^^)

Okay, I won't be able to answer this without some lore/spoilers/book refs, since you have not read the books.

So, first off, I don't think the tower scene happened like that, at all, I think that is an implanted memory, or at least edited, planted/edited precisely for what Rolin said in an interview, namely "agency". But not Lestat's agency - Louis'. Because Louis actively chooses Lestat there.

But that just as a note here, let's assume it happened as shown for now.

Akasha is the very first vampire, the queen in the titular "Queen of the Damned", the third book.

What Lestat refers to there is him drinking Akasha's blood, which he did before he came to New Orleans. And yes, he implies there that they cannot burn him because of that. That is... a bit of a stretch book-wise, and I did blink a bit in confusion then.

And I don't think it's true, either. Taking the scene as truth though, it might have been something to deter Louis and Armand there, because... well, within the scene context, it would have forced Lestat to defend himself - and he did not want to do that, because he would have hurt either/both Armand and Louis, and he loves them. Louis very differently than Armand (and there's a lot of history so the love is mixed rn with a lot of other feelings), still - within the scene context Lestat most likely wanted them to not even try. And it worked.

Louis... does have Lestat's blood. He does have strong blood.

But the strength of vampires also depends on their general state of being, and Louis had drained away his own powers/strength by decades of malnourishment (for a vampire), namely by feeding on animals.

The "lighting their hands on fire" is the Fire Gift.

There are other gifts in the lore: the Spell Gift (trances, visions, illusions), the Mind Gift (telepathy, telekinesis), the Cloud Gift (flying), the Killing Gift (a mix of Fire Gift and Mind Gift, which literally destroys the victim), and the Dark Gift itself, the turning into one of them.

The Fire Gift is a manipulation and an ignition of matter on a molecular level. By sheer will and where they want the fire to be.

The show visualized that for us, with the flames that Armand is able to conjure where he wants them. In the flashback to the 1790s we see him lift his fingers and burn another vampire by "sending" it. Louis, when he destroys Daniel's tapes, also sends it. That is more in line with what the books give us, but it is understandable that the show would want to visualize it more.

They did the same with the Mind Gift Armand uses - both in San Francisco, and on the street in the 1790s his eyes wobble when he uses telekinesis. It's an eerie little effect they added for visualization, and it works very well I think.

Armand teaching Louis the Fire Gift is only possible because Louis actually has strong blood - most vampires only discover their gifts by and by, and not all vampires can access all gifts, because there, too, it is a matter of personal preference, and affinity. Armand, who spent centuries in a satanic cult disassociating is a big Mind and Spell Gift user... which makes a lot of sense to me.

So they do not burn themselves with this fire because they control it - it's an extension of their powers, not comparable to a match being struck and then being an independent flame.

Hope this helps with understanding it all a bit better :) Feel free to ask if you have further questions!

[gothsuguru]

i remember when jjk was more than just cheap shock value

no genuinely… and that’s something i really wanna talk about too in this ask i hope you don’t mind! 😭 i just have a lot to say…

i think in the beginning jjk truly did have genuine plot/story and there was MEANING in people’s words/actions and deaths would actually service the story/be impactful… like. a side character like riko/haibara who we only see in a few panels had SUCH an impact on a character like suguru and made him make choices that he believed would have been for the betterment of his loved ones. satoru’s OWN first death had impact on him bc it reminded him that he’s not infallible and he didn’t wanna take another chance at being hurt -> infinity being up 24/7. toji killing himself and dying again for the sake of his SON. i feel like after hidden inventory death was just… callous? and not in a good way that it services a story — it was just genuine shock value. i guess i could excuse nanami’s death to service the story but it’s like… he didn’t HAVE to die. and if he DID die, wouldn’t the mourning period for satoru be THAT much stronger? we just got a “damn that’s crazy” like ??? do you remember when yuji died and satoru sat down, closed his fist, raging & saying how he’d murder the higher ups? shoko saying that she hasn’t seen satoru be that emotional in a LONG time? like THAT was genuine anger/mourning bc someone satoru cared about DIED and it was on his conscious… you’d think that hearing about the death of his old friend/his student would send him into a mini spiral but no…? like i know gojo is used to this but he’s still HUMAN…

and again w the deaths/random plot as shock value i agree. it’s SO unnecessary. yuki/nobara/choso dying had no value. is higu dead? i forgot bc atp i just assume everyone is w the way this shit is going… like none of those deaths serviced the plot in ANY way??? just… shock value. and i get wanting to do shock value! it was used super well w riko and same w geto killing the village! but otherwise it’s like… what’s the point? same w the plot itself like… sometimes it doesn’t make sense…

and in terms of what’s happening w sukuna & gojo. i won’t spoil anything. but at least from what we’ve seen… i’m of the firm belief that gojo didn’t have to die/if he DID have to die then it should have turned into the six eyes theory/him reaching enlightenment! and also for sukuna as well… why does he seem weaker now and less scary 😭 like he was more frightening in yuji’s body in the beginning of jjk… same w the massacre in shibuya. THAT was terror. rn it’s not that scary. and also gege keeps sidelining yuji and it’s pissing me off… we JUST got yuji leveling up and now he’s pushed aside again 😭 i think gege forgets that this is yuji’s manga 😭 also don’t get me started on twin theory. it would’ve ate more than nephew/uncle i’m sorry i’m still hung up on that. also girl i’m still confused w kenjaku too 🤨 idk. i feel like gege genuinely started losing the plot both literally and figuratively… i think i would rather a big break and have him regroup/think about where he wants to take the story than what we have going on now but at the same time i respect/understand the fact that mangakas don’t get that luxury in the slightest… idk i just wish he knew how he wanted to take the ending of the story in the beginning bc at this point it just feels kinda :/ meh :/ which is sad bc jjk really was THAT bitch for me! still is but like… idk. the crown is tipping major rn is all………..

also remember how gege is always hating on gojo… i feel like it’s not a joke anymore and it’s kinda really upsetting me… just the way he’s taken things w his character/how other characters interact w him… idk. like the gojo we know is the gojo that gege presented to us in the beginning and it just seems like gege lost that along the way… the stuff he did to gojo was like not necessary and if it was, then there were better ways of going about it! and it seems like he’s forgotten about a lot of other characters………… like we’ve lost the plot. genuinely……..

sorry i keep adding on i just keep thinking of stuff but also… i care more about itafushi like more than anything. this story from the beginning has been ABOUT yuji AND megumi and their relationship. yuji ate sukuna’s finger and became a vessel willingly to SAVE megumi. yuji now is trying to SAVE megumi but i feel like gege doesn’t care? like we only got yuji seeing megumi for a split second… i feel like we should’ve gotten more info about megumi too! bc more than anything, this story is about itafushi wanting to save each other. gege just completely forgot about them and now that i think about it, i think that pisses me off the most 😭😭😭 like plot is LOST. fr.

[no-thoughts-only-soup]

Me @ the Recreyo lore: dw babe I’ll fix you

Ok so like somewhat thought out idea I came up with just now:

Beginning: Curt and his friends meet up to do the first episode. His mic broke tho so he quickly bought a replacement. Said replacement was actually cursed (not gonna get into why or how rn). When he turned it on and they clapped for the mic test, the magic from the curse latched onto the clap, causing it to allow them to use magic. What that magic does also tied itself to what they did: create a world for their scenario.

Essentially, they just got the power to create a world when they clap.

At first, they’re not aware something’s off, but around the time Christian joins they figure out they’re stepping in completely new worlds. Thing is, they don’t realize that after they leave, the world itself remains, slowly creating a multiverse.

A multiverse that gets out of hand. A multiverse that starts to create things by itself. A multiverse that creates from them, Creativity and Logic.

But the multiverse is also unstable and combined with the monstrous actions they take and the state in which the worlds are carelessly left behind are starting to affect the twins. Creativity (essentially the right brain) believes the crew are awful beings who ruined their perfect multiverse and sensing Curt had something to do with it, decides to take revenge by kidnapping him.

Logic (left brain) believes they need to think about it more, and stays on the sidelines while Recreyo defeats Ao. (Angsty headcanon: they sell her because it hurts Curt’s mental well-being)

Time passes, and Curt grows curious. Something’s not right. A multiverse shouldn’t allow them to reshape things like they see fit. A multiverse would let them see alternate versions of themselves. A multiverse… should have logic.

Things continue as normal, until the glitches happen. Confused, they stumble upon Ao, who is still pissed at them, but powerless. Together, they all discover the truth. Since her absence from the Inbetween, Ai has filled the power voice, which drove them insane. She seeks to kill Recreyo, to usurp them, to destroy the multiverse.

They ask and she explains. The glitches weren’t their doing. It was Recreyo themselves. The multiverse became so large it’s starting to collapse on itself. So the logical thing to do obviously is to kill Recreyo, get their power and destroy the multiverse to save reality (or maybe to rebuild the multiverse so it runs purely on logic).

They all band together, using the power of the plushies and their allies (the NPC’s that they visited in a montage while trying to fix the glitches). But as they defeat Ai, she points out nothing’s changed. The glitches will worsen, the multiverse will eventually collapse, ect. The crew realizes that the only way to fix their mistakes is to use up all of their power to strengthen and for a lack of better terminology, minimalize the worlds like tabs. This however will come at cost of never being able to use their magic ever again.

They reminisce, leave the twins in charge of the multiverse (before that there is some heartwarming reunion of the twins or something idk), thank their allies and the audience and permanently close it by saying one last Recreyo Out.

There’s still some inconsistencies prob but at least there is a blueprint. At least there is a beginning, middle and end. At least there is SOMETHING

[kuromi-hoemie]

how do you personally view sex/sexual attraction? what differentiates it for you, and what was your journey like? also your hair looks so good im jealous 😩❤️

im p stoned n in the middle of ori so i don't wanna rant(too much, but also oops) abt it rn lol, but I don't have sexual attraction 0:

ppl just b looking real pretty and i am looking affectionately. sex itself is just part of a shared experience to me and its a lovely way to be affectionate (❁´◡`❁) ♡⁠

there's a level of passion that ppl only really show when they're having sex with someone and if i could just have that without the sex that'd also be really great. i can and have made out all day, i love being handsy, i love being close in each other's embrace, i love the sounds and faces people make when they're losing themselves, i love Everything about when ppl cum, i also get a kick out of making someone as horny as possible bc it's fun, i love BITING people ☝🏾😤💕 i love the feel of our skin pressed together

idk i think it's all very fun and passionate and sweet! but then on a more casual note i got a huge oral fixation and if i know you like that, eating pussy's as casual as a kiss on the cheek and is more like me just stroking your back 🤧 it's just There ykwim i salivate over it.

the root of why i do things isn't because I'm horny and I Want You like that but more so from a place of wanting to take care of you bc i know you enjoy it 🤝🏾 and seeing/making you like that is enjoyable to me bc i know ur feeling good physically and emotionally.

tldr i move with my heart not my dick 🫡 but that's not gonna stop me from making someone cum as many times as they can handle bc I'm having fun and it's hot. as far as most ppl are concerned u still get to hit so whatever. if i think you're cute I'm trying to put u in a series of situations..

the only hurtful recurring issue I'd have before was ppl assuming I'm trying to have sex w them just bc we're making out like.. I'm just having fun and spending time with u, it doesn't have to be more than this. but then i let ppl escalate it and happily follow along but would always be confused and hurt low-key when they'd stop being as affectionate one day bc we've been having too much sex and like. i didn't know why those things had to be bundled together 🙈 it wasn't a big deal but i didn't get it, and it's hard to know u are missing a whole ass kind of attraction when you've never experienced it before!!

there are a lot of other slight disconnects that'd come up here and there over the years internally as i tried reconciling how i (didn't) feel with what the norm seemed to be and what ppl wanted of me, i only Really truly found out what being ace was in the past year as i tried answering the seemingly simple question of “do i like sex??¿” to which the answer was basically i love everything about it as a shared experience but as just a kind of affection it's also very besides the point To Me. enjoying sensations and connecting with each other are very 🤌🏾✨💕

coming from a more emotional/affectionate place this also makes me very flexible w kinks bc idk why not i would do anything for you.. but there are definitely simple physical things that make my brain go fuzzy, and i like to shut off and enjoy myself 😵‍💫😵‍💫 anything with my mouth is a big one but i like to be touched and grabbed too and being the dom is nice. why not lose myself in sensation 💆🏾‍♀️ i have a very sensitive body and i enjoy it.

but also as far as losing ourselves in sensation goes, that extends to everything (❁´◡`❁) ♡⁠ i cook and bake with decadence, i love to give massages of all sorts, i love being cuddled up and warm, i love putting on something fun for us to watch or do, i want to go on beautiful hikes and picnics in the garden with you, i want to experience Everything w you and enjoy all of life's pleasures. being polyamorous this also extends to friends bc there's nothing I'd do for a lover i wouldn't for a dear friend of mine 💁🏾‍♀️

um. i could talk in all directions and probably go in circles about the topic for a lot longer/more in depth but u get the gist of it 🫡 it's very easy to participate in and enjoy sex as an experience without that layer of sexual Attraction being what guides you To Me. ur still very lovely and seeing you naked is even more beautiful and I'm going to take my time exploring all of u ♡⁠ no matter what we're doing exactly I'm just trying to share a good time w you.

figuring out I'm ace made every disconnect make sense and everything clicked and it make me more sexual bc i firmly know where I'm coming from and what i actually get out of sex in general now👍🏾 there's an indescribable layer of hesitation in how i move and interact w others that's not there anymore, but that starts to bleed into self confidence and polyamory and other off topic stuff so yeah. good stuff. sorry my high rant was a lil long (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) consider this some sleepover talk lol

[rina-is-insane]

Crimson River & Grief

I finished reading Crimson River by bizarrestars a few weeks ago and OMG?? I can't believe I had never heard of this fic before. This is the greatest piece of literature ever made on my opinion. I loved every second of reading it, even the most devastating, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching parts because they were so beautifully written that I could appreciate them even through endless tears. I would love to mention all of the moments and topics this fic touches upon but that would take me a 100k essay lmao. So, I will only talk about the ones that really stayed with me after I finished it.

First of all, grief! WOW, just WOW! Yes, there is so much grief in this fic but the way it is explored in all of its aspects and forms is simply magnificent. And I will elaborate.

We have Regulus loosing his first best friend, Evan, and gets so overwhelmed to the point of screaming in pure grief, his later nightmares, and the fact he was missing his and grieving him throughout the whole fic and cares him within him till the very end always makes me cry.

We have James losing Vanity, him thinking about her every time he comes across a Horcrux Hornet and keeping one with him for years until he's ready to let her go and no longer afraid.

We have Lily so consumed by her grief for Remus that she wasn't letting herself love or be loved by other people in fear of losing them too and having to go through that again.

We have Regulus and Sirius grieving their parents even tho they were terrible to them. Them grieving completely differently, Reg taking it so bad that he couldn't come out of bed most days and Sirius being confused of his own emotions, feeling comforted that they are dead but still hurting anyway and thinking himself as a bad person for that.

We have Regulus grieving HIMSELF and the life he could have had knowing his plan before the second arena .

We have James blaming himself for Frank's death and believing that he does not deserved to find happiness.

We have the loss of Rabastan. The chapters after his death are very characteristic (ch 64-65) since it's a point in the story where the final battle is near but so many people are already gone and everyone is grieving. This is were we got some devastating takes on grief from Regulus and James's povs:

"A fight that doesn't stop just because people fall; a fight that continues on in their honor.

Some people see it this way, and some people do not. Some are angry, and some are scared, and some are so hurt that they can't see the point of anything, let alone fighting. Some people give up. Some people try harder. They all grieve, though, all of them—and, for all the differences in the people who remain behind, one thing is the same about those who are gone.

The world is a little more hollow without them in it."

&

"So, people still laugh, and they still smile, and they still talk. They provide help when and where they can. They keep busy and focus on what's next. But—just the same—there's this, too. There's silence. There's despair. There's this sense of drifting lonely in a hub of people, a sea of so many beating hearts except for the ones that stopped.

Rabastan's heart stopped, but Rodolphus' didn't. Rabastan's heart did beat once, though, not that long ago. He was here. He was here, and he was loved, and now he's gone, and he's still loved. Is that not grief? Love that poisons itself without the beating heart it's aimed at still here to cleanse it?

Grief is love, and love shouldn't be done alone."

We have Regulus losing Barty (yes I'm crying rn rereading the scene), him feeling that the world does not make sense anymore without Barty in it and feeling the one always consistent thing in Reg's life break in such quick and ruthless way.

We have Effie and James losing Monty, Effie feeling his presence everywhere in contrary to James who only feels his absence and hoping desperately to feel the same as his mum. The beautiful conversation between them where we got this quote: ""You were the point. The way he made his tea was the point. How he sang happily the first morning after we moved in together was the point. All the times he held you in his arms, and every kiss he gave me, and each time he smiled at Sirius—that was the point. James, death does not erase the point of life. A dead flower does not mean it never bloomed. It did, and it was beautiful."

And of course we have Dorcas losing Marlene, oof! Secrets of War was a hard chapter to read. Dorcas refusing to believe she's gone and when she finally realizes it she loses her will to live completely. Her long, LONG progress to get through her grief and find a new reason to keep going is just amazing to read.

Grief has so many different forms and everyone grieves differently so I was truly astonished to see such variety and accuracy of the topic written so beautifully. The one word that i would use to describe this fic? MASTERPIECE!! Last time I read the og Hunger Games books was 6 years ago so can't remember them that well but Crimson River completely took its spot as better for me sorry (not).

I will definitely write about Crimson Rivers again because I want to get into Regulus and Sirius's relationship so much because it's so damn tragic and I love them more than anything. "Chapter 50: Brother" is in fact the most devastating thing I've read in my life and absolutely my favorite in the whole fic. That's all for today. See ya!!

(Art made by @/garforprongs on IG)